Posts tagged #Christian and Single



As a new bride, great expectations, endless love, amazing promise and hope for an incredible future is your vision! So, what is to be said about women who have been married for several years who now believe that their expectations have been violated, the endless love comes and goes, the amazing promise is looking dim and hope for an incredible future has turned into crossing your fingers hoping that you two just get along…TODAY! 


Over the past few years, I have heard many wives complain about their expectations of marriage being violated! That they often catch themselves thinking, "how the heck did I get here?" It's no secret ladies, it's okay to come clean. Didn't you think that the amazing effort, consideration and emotional connection that your husband, showed you ‘pre-marriage’ was amazing beyond words? And didn't you believe that when he asked you to marry him that all of the love, attention and affection you were getting then, would just seamlessly transfer into marriage and multiply times TEN once you said, "I do?"

I know I did! Over the years, the great conversations slowed way down, the romantic evening rendezvous became not-so-romantic and the flowers "just because" became non-existent. What happened? Where's did the effort and intention go? When did your husband stop asking you about your day and all of the "girlfriend-like" questions fell by the waist side?

When did ‘thriving’ in life sneak out the door and ‘surviving’ took up residence? 

Well, what has seemed to be a common theme among the wives I have talked to as of late…has been their age. They are either close to turning 40 or over 40 and their tolerance for excuses have quickly exited STAGE LEFT!

So, how can a lack luster wife get her groove back without putting her husband up for sale? Well, being married 16 years, I too, have gone through many marriage lulls and have found a few best practices that have helped me keep my eyes on the promise and NOT be tempted to run out to the store for milk with suitcase in hand.


I know…CRAZY CONCEPT, right? I will be the first to admit that I have high expectations of everything and it’s a total set up to fail! If you are really trying to hold on to your “fairytale” idea of what marriage should look like, let it go sister! You need to hold onto the blueprint created by the person who created marriage…GOD! When things start to go sideways in a storm, understanding the purpose of your marriage will keep you grounded!


Honey!? If you can get this one down, half the battle is already won! This was and has never been my strong suit. So needless to say, I am very much still learning this virtue! LOL All I can say is, “Keep practicing!” haha


You said, “I do!” for a reason. Spend time on a regular basis, celebrating the things you love most about your husband! Write them down and post them on the bathroom mirror during times when he is getting on your last nerve! LOL


Wives may think they are being supportive to their husbands, when in fact they may really be stressing him out! Try asking your husband what you can do to support him and what that looks like TO HIM…I bet you will be very surprised at his answer.


Marriages quickly start unraveling at the seems if you are not keeping things frisky with your spouse! Physical intimacy is a necessity in marriage designed to keep you close, covered and compatible. IT IS NOT OPTIONAL!!!

Any married person would agree that marriage can be tough, but at the end of the day, the disagreement or the misunderstanding…our husbands are priceless!

Christy Little Jones, MS is the creator of the Wife Wisdom Podcast posting new episodes every Monday; focusing on REAL conversations that help cultivate the heart of a wife — by preparing to be a wife, thriving as a wife and staying encouraged as a wife!


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I've been a wife for over 16 years and let me just say, "I wish a seasoned wife, had pulled me over to the side and prepared me for what to expect in marriage and as a wife!" Now, would I have listened? Probably not, like so many of the single women I have coached who are so enamored with the wedding, that they didn't really want to hear the truth about the marriage! 

I remember when I first started my coaching practice and I did my first webinar called, "Are you Wife Material?" I had about 90 women sign up in a week! While my heart has always been to protect, guard and prepare single women for marriage in an effort to set them up for success and guard them against disappointment; I quickly realized that most people are NOT preventative in nature and don't address the pain until they FEEL the pain! So, many women were not interested in learning how to prepare to be a wife, they were focused more on trying to get married, and said they would figure out the wife part...later! Hmm...well when purpose is IN you, you can't escape it! I am super passionate about helping women prepare for marriage and married women thrive in marriage, so I am thrilled to be launching The Wife Wisdom Podcast! Yaay!

I love being married and I love being a wife to my husband. Adrian! Has it been easy? If you are already married, you know the answer to that question, but if you desire to be married, keep listening and keep learning! There is something to be said about learning from other people's lessons, yes? Well, that is why I am starting the Wife Wisdom Podcast, to help other women learn from my many lessons as a married woman! I feel a sense of obligation to let single women and newly married women KNOW what they can expect in marriage and how to find success as a wife, so when normal marriage storms come, they don't panic and flee prematurely!

I am excited to share what things have helped me succeed in my marriage, what things I wish I knew before I was married and what has encouraged me throughout my marriage! I don't profess to know everything about marriage or being a wife, but I have overcome some pretty tough situations and circumstances as a married woman that I pray will bless and encourage each listener.

So, please SAVE THE DATE for Monday, September 3, 2018 and listen to the VERY FIRST WIFE WISDOM PODCAST! Go to to listen in!



You're pretty to be so black!

I am a dark girl.

I am a survivor, as are many of my sisters of darker skin, of the plethora of ignorant comments and gestures that have been made over my lifetime from strangers, boyfriends and even family.

You’re pretty to be so black.”

“Wow! I’ve never seen a pretty dark girl before.”

The list goes on . . . but as I sat in awe watching the tears roll down the faces of my wounded sisters in the documentary, "Dark Girls," I sat and thought, “what does God say about all of this?

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.                                                  Psalm 139: 14-16 NIV

So, if God created us to look the way we look, then the only logical and spiritual answer is that not only has the devil deceived a whole race, community and nation of people, by telling us the LIE that being dark skinned is ugly, undesirable and makes us not smart, but even worse, for generations, WE BELIEVED HIM!!! Generations of parents have taught their kids about colorism, so when is enough, enough? When are we going to boldly take our power back from the lies of the past? When? Now? Or in a few more generations?

After seeing the documentary, "Dark Girls" of gorgeous children and women who God gave dark skin, describe how they hated how they looked and would secretly wish they were shades lighter! I was moved, because that used to be me.

Not only did I struggle with accepting my size 6 body among my friends, size "0" frames, but I hated my skin color. I did everything I could to immolate what the world was portraying as beautiful. I got my first weave in high school and I started sporting hazel contacts, shortly after! I was a victim. A victim that believed the lie.

It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I got sick and tired of being a victim. I got tired of jumping through hoops as the world's biggest PEOPLE-PLEASER! The journey began.

Many years and tears later, I am proud to say that I love my skin, I love my hair and I am grateful for the body I live in. I AM CHRISTY and I am a DARK GIRL! God never makes mistakes and today I finally believe that! It has been a journey, but I am grateful for it, because I have a beautiful DARK SKINNED daughter that I have the privilege of pouring love, life and truth into her heart, equipping her with the truth of who she is.

"What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words."  Proverbs 18:21(Good News Translation)

 Unfortunately,  there have been far too many who have destroyed lives because of the harsh, judgmental lies that they have spoken to women who were born with darker skin.

Although I am specifically talking about skin color, many of us have believed the lie that we aren’t good enough the way God made us, because we are too tall, too short, too light, too big, too skinny, our nose it too big, our hair is too curly, and the list goes on . . .

So . . . to all of my sisters, today I challenge you to dare to choose different thoughts and different words to describe yourself.


The power of your words can change the course of your life and the lives of others. So, as you begin to change the course of your life and the way you see yourself, please remember this . . .

  1. The power lives in your words! So please, only speak love about yourself and to others!
  2. You must to make the choice to fight with love for what matters to you most! Don't ever quit!

Today . . . is your new beginning! Let love have her way!

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear. It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now. There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 (New Living Translation)


Christy Little Jones, M.S. believes in love! She is the Chief Cheerleader and breakthrough mentor for women who long to encounter the love their soul craves! She is a marriage and family champion and proud to be God’s daughter! She is passionate about helping people encounter an amazing love by discovering who they were created to be!

Repost from October 2015



HAPPY NEW YEAR! As we begin the new year with great expectation, I was reminded of this story and had to share.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee . . .

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the
entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full." "The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house and your car and so on." "The sand is everything else - the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. Take time to get medical checkups. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the vacuum cleaner. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities... Life is not a dress rehearsal... The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked." "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend." \


{Guest Blog} WHAT NOW, GOD?

There is the new app that l love.  Marco Polo.  It’s like snap chat for grown-ups.  I get to video message my friends and family without being a deer or a butterfly or a bumblebee.  And the messages don’t disappear in 24 hours. They are all saved in “the cloud” so I can go back and view them anytime.  

I’ll be honest, what I love MOST are the filters.  My favorite is pop art!  My eyes look AMAZING in pop art!  I often wish that the entire world saw me through that filter just for my eyes!

I was reminded today through a blog (Proverbs 31 Ministry) that I read that we often view our lives through the filter of our circumstances.   And… I realized that I need to change my filter.  

Truth – I am 42 and single and as I mentioned last week am chunkier than ever!  The life that I am living is not one I imagined for myself and as the holidays approach I can’t help but think  about what I thought this season in my life would look like.  

I pictured myself hanging little stockings by the chimney with care and snuggling with my babies in front of a roaring fire.  (Okay – I live in Phoenix… make that a fire place app on the Smart TV or please open the screen door… but you get the picture).    We would watch Frosty and Rudolph and OF COURSE Charlie Brown!  

Life is not even close to what I imagined.  And it’s really easy to get discouraged when you are rolling into what feels like holiday season number 692 STILL single.   It leads to questions… like “Why, God Why!?!?” and “When, God when!?!?”

But I was reminded today that it’s okay to ask God questions… we just have to make sure it’s the RIGHT question.  The question is not “why,” but “what.”

“This is my current reality, so what now?”  THAT question… is a total punch in the face.  It’s so easy to roll into a pity party with the Whys and Whens… But when I ask “What now?”  I have to make a choice.  An active choice.  I’m either going to choose to have a pity party and be sad.  Or I’m going to choose to figure out WHAT I should be doing in what feels like the never-ending season of Singleness.  

When I think about it, I can’t imagine someone saying, “Okay, Sara, you are 42 and single.   What now?”  and me responding, “Well, I plan to be really depressed and eat myself into oblivion.  Can you pass that tray of cupcakes and the box of tissues.”  WHO would say that?!?!

By asking WHAT instead of WHY, I take responsibility for my life, for my choices and my actions.  My choices are now premeditated and planned.   By asking WHAT, I am changing the filter through which I not only view, but govern my life.  

Is there something in your life that you don’t understand, that doesn’t make sense?  Is there some hurt or betrayal or loss that you haven’t been able to move beyond? Try changing the filter by asking WHAT NOW, God? instead of “Why, me?”

In case you are wondering, what my “What now” looks like this holiday season… it includes Christmas shopping for my favorite kids (my nieces and nephews),  snuggling on the couch with my Mommy on Christmas Eve, while watching our favorite Christmas movie and savoring every minute of the holiday season from start to finish.  


Sara Munyan is a cupcake connoisseur and strictly runs on coffee. She loves the sun, sand, and surf and shares her gift of teaching with 120 fourth graders in Arizona. With her infectious laugh, Sara's humor and real-world view of singlehood will have you grabbing your side and wiping your tears as you experience her wonderful charm.

{GUEST BLOG} A Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season

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I love the Christmas season and ALL that it entails… The scarves, the mittens and hats… the sparkly dresses… the cookies… the cakes… the extra weight that I gain.

Wait! Strike that last one.  I do not, I repeat DO NOT love the weight gain.  And this year…feels harder than ever.  I’ve gained roughly 20 pounds in the last 18 months.  My 90-year-old aunt delights in telling me that I have never looked fatter – which she oddly thinks is a compliment.  Trying to figure out what to wear that feels fun and festive AND looks good leaves me wanting to curl up on the couch in my PJs. 

It’s hard enough being 40 something and single…add chunky to the mix and you might as well add a few cats too.  I was feeling a little down and Alanis Morrisette-y when I randomly remembered the Message.  The Message of the Man Boobs. 

Man Boobs (as I’m sure you are aware) are a very odd place to garner wisdom and confidence… but wisdom and confidence are what I found. 

Several years ago, I was sitting in my office gazing out the window when a man caught my eye.  I can't remember what I noticed first:  his thick legs, slightly chunky hiney or... his man boobs.  He wasn't large and in charge but he was definitely ... thick!    I see men of all shapes and sizes on a daily basis.  Very few cause me to take a double look... but this guy... had my attention because even with the butt and the boobs... he had swag! 

 I sat and watched him walk down the street with complete confidence and found myself drawn to him because of it!   His confidence overrode all of the “flaws” that I noticed at first.  The truth is that I only saw them for a second.  His confidence was attractive... alluring even.  Truth be told, I even thought about giving his little man boob a squeeze.

For years I have read the articles about confidence being one of the most attractive qualities an individual can possess but it wasn't until I saw the man boobs with swag that I understood it! 

Confidence is the magic ingredient that makes the ordinary... extraordinary! So this holiday season, if you wear nothing else, wear your confidence and wear it well and if your 90-year-old aunt tells you that you’ve never been fatter, smile and say “Thank you!”

Sara Munyan is a cupcake connoisseur and strictly runs on coffee. She loves the sun, sand, and surf and shares her gift of teaching with 120 fourth graders in Arizona. With her infectious laugh, Sara's humor and real-world view of singlehood will have you grabbing your side and wiping your tears as you experience her wonderful charm.


The past few weeks, I have heard and witnessed many significant "WON'T HE DO IT!" moments! Let me explain, a "won't HE do it" moment is when God shows up in your life unexpectedly without warning or notice; but with a whole lot of POWER, LOVE and CERTAINTY . . . gently reminding YOU that HE is in total control!

We may think we are controlling our life, and in some ways, yes, we have free will to choose, however, those who are willing to trust God with their life, their fears, their worries, their situations and circumstances, God has something for ya!

A few weeks ago, one of my Godsisters shared a "won't He do it" moment where God provided all of the training she needed to be certified . . . FOR FREE! Another Godsister shared how God brought back together two people who were once engaged, broke it off, married other people, got divorced and a few weeks ago after years of not communicating, got married!


This week after feeling like I was in a spiritual and mental fog, I kept forgetting things, losing my train of thought and feeling like a deer in headlights! All I could do was REST. Nothing extra, nothing more, all I did was just, "BE!"

Yesterday, I saw a few random letters on my dresser face down, one was junk mail and one from Blue Cross Blue Shield.  I thought, "that's weird, I haven't been with Blue Cross, Blue Shield in years." So, I opened the junk mail first and then opened the Blue Cross letter. There was a $1200 insurance refund check in it issued 3 months ago! "WON'T HE DO IT!"

I shook my head, praised God and thanked Him for always coming right on time!

God is in complete control of your life! He is just waiting for you to trust him completely and get out of His way, so HE CAN DO IT!

Please share YOUR "Won't He Do It!" moment below in the comments!



Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not to your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will make your paths straight.
— Proverbs 3:5

This election may surprise everybody else . . . but not God! I believe Tuesday's election is a total set up from God for the body of Christ.  God has been working in and through His sons and daughters for centuries. He desires us to trust Him above all else, by gently moving us out of our own way, so that we can truly start learning how to rest and receive - letting God be God. For so many of us, we believe the old saying,"it takes a lot of hard work to be successful, or the harder we work, the more successful we are." Actually, I think we may have gotten it backwards.

God doesn't need our help to carry out the visions, desires and dreams He has placed on the inside of us. He doesn't need us to take the initiative, overachieve or forcefully make our dreams come true. We have been spinning our wheels, scratching our heads and wondering, how did I get here? Why? Because we want to know the plan, and we want God's Promises to fit into our schedule, routine, and daily to-do list!

Tuesday was just a small reminder of how uncomfortable it is for us as a nation to be blindsided, unprepared and totally caught off guard, even after experts ran the numbers, entered the data and predicted the outcome. Guess what? We are not in control . . . God is!

The last few years has taken us out of our comfort zone and forced us to look at ourselves honestly, truthfully and with humility. We are nowhere near as mature as we think we are. We smile in people's faces and talk about them behind their backs, we judge people for their courage and boldness, as we continue to hide behind the mask of fear. And we ignore what is really going on, because we really don't 'feel' like taking ownership or responsibility to bring change, because we have too much on our own plates and it's so much easier to just complain.

We are the body of Christ and we are not ONE! We don't know who we are in Christ because we don't know who God is. Being a Christian isn't a fashion trend, it is an inheritance. God has given us an assignment and He has given us chance after chance to see Him in the details of our lives. . . and we have totally missed it! We ignored the clues and avoided 'the call' for as long as we could.

We pushed the envelope and now the time has come. It's GAME TIME and it's time to suit up!

We can't "fake it" anymore. We have no more time outs! It's time to accept your inheritance, rise into your calling and take responsibility for what you have been assigned to do! No more procrastinating and no more making excuses! This is the season that God has appointed you to walk in your purpose!

The nation needs you!

It's time to come together, respect one another and be the change you want to see in the world. The nation is depending on you to show them what faith is, demonstrate what love feels like, show them how to forgive and be the leader you know how to be!

Ready? . . . BREAK!





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He is on a mission! #operationoneness

I know things have been tough and you may have even contemplated throwing in the towel, but I wanted to encourage you to . . . HOLD THE LINE!


God is coming and HE IS THE CALVARY!

Marriage is God's idea. He created it so that we could experience love, intimacy, friendship, unity, and life's deepest joys. Which is why it is also fiercely opposed by the enemy. Satan's primary goal is to steal, kill, and destroy every aspect of your life--especially your marriage. 

But our Lord is a mighty warrior! There is a war between the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Darkness. This battle rages most ferociously in marriage because you, your spouse and your family have a specific purpose to advance God's Kingdom and bring Him glory!

So in order to engage in this battle, you need to be equipped! Some of you have laid down your swords and stopped fighting. Some have fallen on the battlefield wounded and hurt and some keep trying to stay in the fight, but are so weary, your efforts are faint and faithless.

Don't despair, things are about to turn around!

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
— Hebrews 11:1

When we are discouraged, disappointed or in despair, it's usually because our faith is faint! Be encouraged! As a daughter or son of the Most High God, you have access to exactly what you need to experience the marriage relationship you desire . . . and the one God has prepared for you! How? By activating your FAITH . . . RELENTLESS FAITH!


. . . is the confidence

you must believe without a shadow of doubt

. . . that what we hope for

that whatever you desire in your marriage, your spouse or your situation

. . . will actually happen

that God CAN restore, increase, rescue, save, and heal . . .

. . . it gives us assurance about

by operating in the integrity of what you believe

. . . things we cannot see

completely surrender to and trust God fully! Faith is an action! Faith never quits!

Search your heart this week. What do you REALLY believe about God? about His Word? about your spouse? about your marriage? Does what you think, say and do align with what you believe in your heart? If not, decide to change it! Align with God's Word. Start activating your faith for what you REALLY believe and watch God move in your marriage BIG TIME!!



The definition of DECISION is
: the ability to make choices quickly and confidently

Why do so many people hesitate to make even the simplest of decisions like what to order at a restaurant or even which movie to see at the theater? In today's culture, we are faced with so many choices, it leaves many of us overwhelmed, overworked and numb. Choices tend to make people anxious and make some feel like they are closing the door to other possibilities and opportunities.

Good decision-making is a skill that can be learned. And once it's learned and practiced, making decisions can bring the peace of mind and comfort that we're looking for. So, here are some quick tips that will help you to stop stalling and turn procrastination into positive action!

1. YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING! Think about it . . . you can't get married and then still live the single life! Choices are necessary! The better you get at making decisions, the more confident you will become and the less anxiety you will feel. Keep practicing!

2. STOP OVERTHINKING YOUR DECISION! The worst feeling is to buy a plane ticket and find the same flight 30 minutes later for $300 less! STOP LOOKING! Trust yourself, make the decision and move on!

3. DON'T DELAY IN YOUR DECISION-MAKING - unless you need more information to make the decision, you are giving your power away to the fear of making a choice! When you hand over your power, you lose control of the situation and it's over! DONE DEAL!

4. TRUST WITHIN and DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP! - Sometimes things just don't go as planned. Oh well! You made the best decision at the time you made it! You can't always take responsibility for the outcome, your job was just to decide.c The beauty of it all is, if things don't work out . . . you have the opportunity to make a different decision!


Six Weeks

Healed Heart

Love Received

Purpose Revealed

Promise Given . . . WHAT IS THERE TO DECIDE?