I can't tell you how many times I have told soon-to-be wives, "ummm...you know you will need to have sex with your husband, even when you don't feel like it, right?" They all say with eagerness, enthusiasm and a big smile, "OKAY!" Then, before you know it, we're having a conversation about how they really don't like having sex and they are okay with their husbands..."taking care of it themselves."
WHAT!?!?!? I DON'T THINK SO!
Let me tell you what apparently seems to be a secret these days..when you get married, guess what? You have been createdto SERVE, PROTECT AND COVER YOUR SPOUSE!!! And God's strategy is that when each of you serves the other, then everything will works out according to his plan! But, just like the dating scene has changed drastically for many of my single friends, so has the married game!
Marriage is NOT designed to feed your ego, have children and fit your spouse in, when you can get him or her in. No, the idea is that you both are to make each other a priority, like you did BEFORE you got married!
A few weeks ago, I asked my husband why he doesn't pursue me like he did before we got married? You know what he said, "because it's a lot of work!" I looked at him like he had lost his mind!! But then I thought, "well at least he was honest." I KNOW there are a lot of husbands out there who really feel that way, but never say it!
And there are probably many more wives who feel like I do and are thinking, "what in the world? What happened to the wooing and pursuing!"
I am completely convinced that God designed marriage to be wonderful, but most couples often get derailed and need a mini intervention, helping them get back on track to experiencing more fun, friendship and friskiness in their marriage!
From personal experience, here are the top 3 ways Adrian and I have gotten our wheels back on the rails! So, here's your mini intervention!!
1. GO OUT ON A DATE...ASAP!
Usually, married couples get off track because "LIFE" has taken over and the importance of making each other a priority has slipped onto the "back burner." In order to get your wheels back on the rails, schedule, plan and go out on a date night immediately! Push yourself away from your desk at work, cancel your tee time and spend quality time with your spouse RIGHT NOW! Do this within the next 24 hours!
2. MAKE LOVE
The number #1 reason married couples get derailed is because they aren't having SEX! I have coached busy married couples who haven't had sex for months and some even years!!!! This behavior or mindset can NEVER be a regular practice in your marriage! NO ONE IS THAT BUSY!!
Sex is the most intimate form of communication you can have with your spouse! It is the one thing that they share with YOU and no one else! I don't know any marriage that can survive not having regular intimacy with their spouse. Intimacy includes more than just sex, it encompasses spiritual, mental and emotional connection as well. So, stop making excuses! Stop being selfish and holding out on your spouse! The two of you need to just go get busy! Do this within the next 24 hours.
3. STAY ENGAGED
Have you ever read the book "Men are like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti" by Bill and Pam Farrell? It addresses the different communication styles of men and women and how men communicate via headlines and women give all of the details and how funny and frustrating it can be. Click on the link above and check out the book in my Amazon store!
Nevertheless, husbands! While your wife may want to tell you about EVERYTHING in her day and you may have used your quota of words before you even hit the door, press through your threshold on this one and give your wife 100% of your attention, enthusiasm and engagement!
Wives, when your husband fills your emotional love tank, don't just enjoy being on "FULL" all by yourself! Share and express your gratitude towards your husband in the way he feels "FULL" back! Whether it's spending time with him watching TV, playing 9 holes with him on the golf course or initiating intimate couple time...JUST DO IT! Don't think about it, don't procrastinate and tell yourself...you'll do it later, DO IT NOW and see how quickly what seemed like a total derailment in your marriage can be repaired, restored and back to being up and running...full steam ahead!
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