I love being a wife.
I dreamt of being a wife since I was a little girl. I would daydream about holding hands, traveling the world making amazing memories and being madly in love with my husband! I saw us as a powerful couple, who gave back to others and made a difference in people' lives! While I thought about being married more than anything else on many days, I never really knew what being a wife entailed until...I was one!
Marriage can be amazing and I wanted to share a bit of encouragement that I have gathered along my journey of being a HAPPY WIFE!
1. HAPPY COMES FROM KNOWING WHO YOU ARE
When I first got married, I was a MAJOR people-pleaser! I hated disappointing my husband, Adrian and I hated having hard conversations even more! So, my opinions, thoughts, and even ideas stayed in my mouth because I didn't understand that what I had to say or share was valuable and necessary! I didn't understand that God brought me and Adrian together for a reason and who He created me to be was designed to make Adrian better and vice verse.
2. HAPPY COMES FROM UNDERSTANDING GOD'S PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE
In my experience as a relationship and marriage coach, one of the biggest disappointments in marriage are your expectations for marriage not being met. When there is a violation of your expectation in marriage, many couples don't know what to do! So, they are mean to each other, threaten, withhold sex, manipulate and distance themselves from one another until...they "get" what they expected. This is a harsh reality for some couples, especially for those who are of the selfish kind. LOL God's purpose in marriage is to become more like Him, to reflect His love towards your spouse, leave a Godly legacy for your children and to love others. I know in my own spiritual walk, becoming more like God requires a lot of unconditional love, sacrifice, patience, grace, a heart to serve and a whole bunch of humility. How are you doing with becoming more like God in your marriage? I'm just saying!
3. HAPPY COMES FROM MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY
It makes me beyond happy to make Adrian happy! I love seeing his appreciation when I make him a priority in my life. He feels loved and well taken care of and all is well with his world. While giving your spouse the attention he desires, may come at a sacrifice on your part, he deserves it, right? Because...you could have stayed single and then had all the time to yourself you wanted.
4. HAPPY COMES FROM REMINDING YOURSELF WHY YOU SAID, "I DO"
Okay, let's be real. Being married after 2...5...10...20 years is very different from the first weeks following saying, "I do." I get it! We all want to hold on to the butterflies and sheer joy we experienced after he proposed, the excitement of planning for the wedding and great fulfillment and joy of being a "Mrs." for the first time on your honeymoon. Then, "LIFE HAPPENS," and for some couples, all hell breaks loose and they are quick to forget those first tender moments in the beginning of their life together. So, what I have learned in our moments of crisis in marriage when I have had enough and I don't think I can "do this" for the rest of my life, I remind myself of the moments leading up to when I said, "I do." I go back to that moment when I knew God said, this was the man He created for me. Then, I take my eyes of the greener grass and get a grip!!!!
5. HAPPY COMES FROM STAYING IN THE CONVERSATION
We all know that the top reasons couples get divorced are over sex, finances and communication, right? So, what I have learned over the years, is that what makes me a happy wife in times of conflict and controversy, even when everything inside me wants to avoid confrontation and overlook offense, I owe it to myself, my husband and our marriage to stay in the conversation. It's very easy to run and hide when you're the offender and what your marriage needs most requires humility, an apology, and taking ownership and responsibility for your actions! I don't know any husband or wife who LOVES apologizing when they're wrong, but I promise you, when you learn how to take ownership for your actions and learn to apologize quickly, you will swiftly move into the happy wife category!
6. HAPPY COMES FROM HAVING AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
In my journey of discovering who God created me to be, it required me to learn more about who He was. During that process, I learned who God created ME to be! I learned how much He loved me and how there is nothing I could do to earn His love and there was nothing I could do that made Him take it away. I learned that He already knew the end result of everything that I was going through, and He promised me that it would always turn out for MY good! I learned that I was beautiful, valuable and wonderfully made. I learned that I have the power to create anything I want if I trust and believe in Him. And I learned how to live through faith just because I decided to believe all that I learned about Him was true. I am completely convinced that it is because of my relationship with God that I AM A HAPPY WIFE!
7. HAPPY COMES FROM MAKING THE DECISION TO BE HAPPY
Did you know that being happy is hereditary? Research shows that as much as up to 50% of being a happy person may contribute to your genes! I have been a happy person for as long as I can remember. It doesn't mean that I don't have down days or that I don't get sad from time to time, but I LOVE BEING HAPPY!! I love experiencing life through happy lenses! I have experienced life through offended lenses, pity party lenses, and ungrateful lenses and I hated it! It made me feel heavy and sluggish! BLAH! Who wants to feel like that? So, I decided to be happy! Every day, I choose to be happy, and guess what...it is!! There is power in your thoughts, your words, and your actions! And when they align, what you create is integrity with yourself! It's the BEST EVER! Try it!
Well, these are only a few examples of the wife wisdom I have learned along my journey. Although marriage is designed to make you more like God, and you will most likely face many ups and downs, marriage can be wonderfully amazing! Especially, if that's what you DECIDE it will be!