I spent most of my young adult life guessing who people wanted me to be, what they wanted me to say and what they wanted me to do...I WAS A PEOPLE PLEASER!
As a people pleaser, I would laugh at jokes that I didn't think were funny and even would pretend I liked something that I couldn't stand, just to be "liked" and accepted.
I wrestled within my own mind and heart with concepts and ideas that I wanted to say and share with my family and friends, but I often didn't feel safe enough to open up and really express how I felt. When friends would ask me to do things or go places, I would dismiss my own desire, abandon my choice and quietly agree, following along with eagerness, hoping they would love me greater and approve of me more!
It wasn't until around my 35th birthday that I woke up one morning...TOTALLY EXHAUSTED!!! Exhausted from pretending, exhausted from faking it! I was worn down and wore out from trying to fit into everyone's expectation of me, as I tried desperately to hold on to some false sense of acceptance, love and validation.
I know I don't stand-alone when I say that I desire deeply to be loved, accepted, and appreciated for being authentically ME! I still desire those things; the difference is, I no longer feel pressured to fit into other people's expectation of me. Why? ...because I have discovered who I AM.
You and I were born with unique skills, talents and gifts that come naturally. They make us special. So why do we always COMPARE ourselves to others? Why don't we like what we have or who we are? Why do we strive to obtain anything and everything that we don't already have?
For many years of my life, I tried to overcompensate for aspects of who I am that I WILL NEVER BE ABLE to change! Like my skin color, my body type, the size and spacing of my features, my hair texture and even my height! So many of us people please our way throughout life in an effort to fit-in and be accepted.
Well, I'm here to tell you! God made you to look and perform EXACTLY the way you do for a reason! He is the ONLY global expert on beauty and acceptance and He created you to look like Him! In order for us to fully embrace who God has called us to be here on earth, we have to take off the MASK and discover who we truly are.
Masking who you are to do something that you DON'T even like doing, just for the sake of being accepted isn't pretty. Compromising your values, morals and standards, just because you're afraid of rejection is NOT a good look. Looking at yourself in the mirror and saying OR THINKING mean, and hurtful things about yourself is just plain WRONG! But I, like so many others . . . didn't know any better and maybe you don't either.
So, I want to invite you to take off your mask TODAY! I want to invite you to start walking in the confidence of your unique beauty, your God given talents and your amazing gifts. The time has come, to take off your mask!
1. CONFIDENCE TAKES PRACTICE!
Start practicing being confident with people who love you and support you no matter what! Dare to be authentic and really express how YOU feel. When your loved ones don't pull their love away, but stay and love you anyway, your confidence for living as your true self, will emerge!
2. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH IN LOVE!
It's challenging to speak authentically after "faking" it for so many years. People who knew you with the mask may be taken by surprise by the new expression of YOU, but stay consistent and keep honoring your truth. They will adjust.
3. DECIDE THAT YOU ARE VALUABLE!
You are valuable...your thoughts, your ideas and your opinions are all important and valuable because they make you, YOU! It may be uncomfortable for you and for others as you begin to share your most authentic self, but don't worry! It's all part of the breakthrough and rebuilding process. So don't ever shrink back!
4. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
Becoming a BOLD, CONFIDENT and SELF-ASSURED woman takes time, especially if you are a current or former people pleaser! Situations may arise when you may want to shrink back into your former people pleasing behavior or when "survival" kicks in and you want to retreat into your safe place of shrinking...RESIST!!!!!!
5. RENEW YOUR MIND
In order to rebuild confidence, you have to understand TRUTH and reapply the standard of truth created for your life...God's Word! In order to reprogram our negative thoughts, actions and behaviors, we must write over them with the TRUTH! Find a scripture and read it over and over; day after day, until your heart starts to believe it! SAY IT OUT LOUD everyday...all the time. "I praise you for I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
Please leave a comment below:
What is one thing you WILL do, say or think about today that makes you feel more confident?