Marriage is God's idea and anything that God says is good, there is always an enemy lurking, plotting, planning and scheming to steal it...kill it...divide it and destroy it! This week, the enemy was deep in my camp, trying to steal my joy, my peace and my tolerance!
After 15 years of marriage and 13 years working with couples, I have come to know a few things as true. One, marriage is good...why? because everything God made is good. Two, marriage has seasons where it's hard, complicated and unnecessarily messy because of the ENEMY in our camp.
What a week! Have you ever had one of those weeks when...the dryer broke, work was way too overwhelming, your kids were acting up and you and your spouse were constantly arguing over stupid stuff? Yes! One of those weeks where running away to a tropical island...for the rest of the year...sounded really good!
Marriage is wonderful and I love being married, but sometimes...being married REALLY gets on my nerves! I have a list of things I love about being married -- I LOVE when Adrian holds me at night when I'm cold and I can't seem to get warm. I love knowing that he is thinking about me throughout the day. And I love having a partner to fight life's battles with and celebrate life's victories.
But, what really gets on my nerves about being married is...having to apologize when I'm not wrong! Having to sacrifice "anything and everything," when I really don't feel like it and then having sex when the last thing I want him to do is touch me! But, the real reason that being married sometimes gets on my nerves is because...
I CAN'T BE SELFISH!!!!!
Some of you may say, "well, why can't you be selfish? Why do YOU have to give up what you want? You don't have to apologize, when it's not your fault. You don't have to sacrifice, he needs to sacrifice, he's the man! And, if you don't feel like having sex . . . then, don't!"
Well, I wish it was that easy, but...
Marriage was created as God's system to develop intimacy with Him, eliminate selfishness, practice sacrifice and discover yourself at the core! Couples who get married without fully understanding God's purpose for marriage are in some ways "set up" to fail, because they think marriage is all about fulfilling their own needs, desires and wishes. They think marriage should always make THEM happy without any sacrifice or discomfort on their part! When in reality, marriage is the roller coaster ride of their lives, and unfortunately all too often, that ride ends up in the divorce courts! The lack of understanding regarding the purpose of marriage is one of the preliminary strategies from the enemy to destroy the joy, peace and prosperity God designed marriage to be.
There are so many things that happen along the journey of marriage that to thrive, you must become aware that...
1. There is an enemy in your camp seeking to steal, kill and destroy your marriage. You can't afford to throw in the towel before the fight is over. Your legacy depends on you winning the battle!
2. Offense is fuel for the enemy to keep you away from joy, peace, prosperity and happily ever after! Don't fall for the okey-doke! Reconcile quickly and don't hold grudges.
3. Everything that happens in your marriage is designed to build, strengthen and fortify the bond between you, your spouse and God. Don't miss these opportunities to connect on a deeper level.
4. Self-ish is a 4-letter word and should NOT be applied...if you want to experience the true purpose of marriage and all of its benefits.
5. Recognize the enemy's strategies in your marriage and when he shows up, you'll be ready for war!
6. Train for battle by pursuing God daily. Spend time in worship, prayer, meditation and bible study. Always apply what you learn!
MARRIAGE TAKES WORK!!!! A LOT OF WORK!! You will have to do a ton of things that you don't want to do and don't feel like doing, but...in the end...the "WORK" will be worth it!
There are times when I would rather not apologize and be right or sometimes I wish I could pout and have a tantrum because I didn't get my way; but I am certain that every time I put my feelings aside and choose PERFECT LOVE, WE ALWAYS WIN!!!
I love my husband and I love being married! He increases my capacity to love...on the regular. LOL! I will continue to learn, grow and sacrifice in my marriage and there may be days ahead that Adrian will get on my nerves; but I am so grateful that I serve an awesome God who provides, protects and positions me to be loved by a man who loves me perfectly...til' death do us part!