There is the new app that l love. Marco Polo. It’s like snap chat for grown-ups. I get to video message my friends and family without being a deer or a butterfly or a bumblebee. And the messages don’t disappear in 24 hours. They are all saved in “the cloud” so I can go back and view them anytime.
I’ll be honest, what I love MOST are the filters. My favorite is pop art! My eyes look AMAZING in pop art! I often wish that the entire world saw me through that filter just for my eyes!
I was reminded today through a blog (Proverbs 31 Ministry) that I read that we often view our lives through the filter of our circumstances. And… I realized that I need to change my filter.
Truth – I am 42 and single and as I mentioned last week am chunkier than ever! The life that I am living is not one I imagined for myself and as the holidays approach I can’t help but think about what I thought this season in my life would look like.
I pictured myself hanging little stockings by the chimney with care and snuggling with my babies in front of a roaring fire. (Okay – I live in Phoenix… make that a fire place app on the Smart TV or please open the screen door… but you get the picture). We would watch Frosty and Rudolph and OF COURSE Charlie Brown!
Life is not even close to what I imagined. And it’s really easy to get discouraged when you are rolling into what feels like holiday season number 692 STILL single. It leads to questions… like “Why, God Why!?!?” and “When, God when!?!?”
But I was reminded today that it’s okay to ask God questions… we just have to make sure it’s the RIGHT question. The question is not “why,” but “what.”
“This is my current reality, so what now?” THAT question… is a total punch in the face. It’s so easy to roll into a pity party with the Whys and Whens… But when I ask “What now?” I have to make a choice. An active choice. I’m either going to choose to have a pity party and be sad. Or I’m going to choose to figure out WHAT I should be doing in what feels like the never-ending season of Singleness.
When I think about it, I can’t imagine someone saying, “Okay, Sara, you are 42 and single. What now?” and me responding, “Well, I plan to be really depressed and eat myself into oblivion. Can you pass that tray of cupcakes and the box of tissues.” WHO would say that?!?!
By asking WHAT instead of WHY, I take responsibility for my life, for my choices and my actions. My choices are now premeditated and planned. By asking WHAT, I am changing the filter through which I not only view, but govern my life.
Is there something in your life that you don’t understand, that doesn’t make sense? Is there some hurt or betrayal or loss that you haven’t been able to move beyond? Try changing the filter by asking WHAT NOW, God? instead of “Why, me?”
In case you are wondering, what my “What now” looks like this holiday season… it includes Christmas shopping for my favorite kids (my nieces and nephews), snuggling on the couch with my Mommy on Christmas Eve, while watching our favorite Christmas movie and savoring every minute of the holiday season from start to finish.
Sara Munyan is a cupcake connoisseur and strictly runs on coffee. She loves the sun, sand, and surf and shares her gift of teaching with 120 fourth graders in Arizona. With her infectious laugh, Sara's humor and real-world view of singlehood will have you grabbing your side and wiping your tears as you experience her wonderful charm.