LAUNCHING THE WIFE WISDOM PODCAST

Wife Wisdom Podcast Website.png

I've been a wife for over 16 years and let me just say, "I wish a seasoned wife, had pulled me over to the side and prepared me for what to expect in marriage and as a wife!" Now, would I have listened? Probably not, like so many of the single women I have coached who are so enamored with the wedding, that they didn't really want to hear the truth about the marriage! 

I remember when I first started my coaching practice and I did my first webinar called, "Are you Wife Material?" I had about 90 women sign up in a week! While my heart has always been to protect, guard and prepare single women for marriage in an effort to set them up for success and guard them against disappointment; I quickly realized that most people are NOT preventative in nature and don't address the pain until they FEEL the pain! So, many women were not interested in learning how to prepare to be a wife, they were focused more on trying to get married, and said they would figure out the wife part...later! Hmm...well when purpose is IN you, you can't escape it! I am super passionate about helping women prepare for marriage and married women thrive in marriage, so I am thrilled to be launching The Wife Wisdom Podcast! Yaay!

I love being married and I love being a wife to my husband. Adrian! Has it been easy? If you are already married, you know the answer to that question, but if you desire to be married, keep listening and keep learning! There is something to be said about learning from other people's lessons, yes? Well, that is why I am starting the Wife Wisdom Podcast, to help other women learn from my many lessons as a married woman! I feel a sense of obligation to let single women and newly married women KNOW what they can expect in marriage and how to find success as a wife, so when normal marriage storms come, they don't panic and flee prematurely!

I am excited to share what things have helped me succeed in my marriage, what things I wish I knew before I was married and what has encouraged me throughout my marriage! I don't profess to know everything about marriage or being a wife, but I have overcome some pretty tough situations and circumstances as a married woman that I pray will bless and encourage each listener.

So, please SAVE THE DATE for Monday, September 3, 2018 and listen to the VERY FIRST WIFE WISDOM PODCAST! Go to bit.ly/thewifewisdompodcast to listen in!

 

 

You're pretty to be so black!

I am a dark girl.

I am a survivor, as are many of my sisters of darker skin, of the plethora of ignorant comments and gestures that have been made over my lifetime from strangers, boyfriends and even family.

You’re pretty to be so black.”

“Wow! I’ve never seen a pretty dark girl before.”

The list goes on . . . but as I sat in awe watching the tears roll down the faces of my wounded sisters in the documentary, "Dark Girls," I sat and thought, “what does God say about all of this?

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.                                                  Psalm 139: 14-16 NIV

So, if God created us to look the way we look, then the only logical and spiritual answer is that not only has the devil deceived a whole race, community and nation of people, by telling us the LIE that being dark skinned is ugly, undesirable and makes us not smart, but even worse, for generations, WE BELIEVED HIM!!! Generations of parents have taught their kids about colorism, so when is enough, enough? When are we going to boldly take our power back from the lies of the past? When? Now? Or in a few more generations?

After seeing the documentary, "Dark Girls" of gorgeous children and women who God gave dark skin, describe how they hated how they looked and would secretly wish they were shades lighter! I was moved, because that used to be me.

Not only did I struggle with accepting my size 6 body among my friends, size "0" frames, but I hated my skin color. I did everything I could to immolate what the world was portraying as beautiful. I got my first weave in high school and I started sporting hazel contacts, shortly after! I was a victim. A victim that believed the lie.

It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I got sick and tired of being a victim. I got tired of jumping through hoops as the world's biggest PEOPLE-PLEASER! The journey began.

Many years and tears later, I am proud to say that I love my skin, I love my hair and I am grateful for the body I live in. I AM CHRISTY and I am a DARK GIRL! God never makes mistakes and today I finally believe that! It has been a journey, but I am grateful for it, because I have a beautiful DARK SKINNED daughter that I have the privilege of pouring love, life and truth into her heart, equipping her with the truth of who she is.

"What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words."  Proverbs 18:21(Good News Translation)

 Unfortunately,  there have been far too many who have destroyed lives because of the harsh, judgmental lies that they have spoken to women who were born with darker skin.

Although I am specifically talking about skin color, many of us have believed the lie that we aren’t good enough the way God made us, because we are too tall, too short, too light, too big, too skinny, our nose it too big, our hair is too curly, and the list goes on . . .

So . . . to all of my sisters, today I challenge you to dare to choose different thoughts and different words to describe yourself.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL!

The power of your words can change the course of your life and the lives of others. So, as you begin to change the course of your life and the way you see yourself, please remember this . . .

  1. The power lives in your words! So please, only speak love about yourself and to others!
  2. You must to make the choice to fight with love for what matters to you most! Don't ever quit!

Today . . . is your new beginning! Let love have her way!

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear. It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now. There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 (New Living Translation)

 

Christy Little Jones, M.S. believes in love! She is the Chief Cheerleader and breakthrough mentor for women who long to encounter the love their soul craves! She is a marriage and family champion and proud to be God’s daughter! She is passionate about helping people encounter an amazing love by discovering who they were created to be! www.mrschristyjones.com

Repost from October 2015

 

OPEN YOUR EYES.

It took me years to grasp the concept that I was made in God's image, which meant that He made me to look like Him, love like Him, walk like Him, talk like Him, act like Him, think like Him and see like Him! Boy! Did I have a lot of work to do!

Eventhough God created us for Him, we often think this life we live is our own, to do with  whatever we please. Maybe for some...yes. But for Believers...the answer is NO! Your life is not your own. Your life is to glorify God 24/7! Pressure? Perhaps, but not if you open your eyes and see all that God is doing around you! 

Open your eyes to what God is saying.

Open your eyes to what God is doing.

Open your eyes to how God is leading. 

Open your eyes to how God is ordering your next steps. 

Open your eyes to God's handprint all around you. 

 

Don't question His plan, don't try to figure it out. Simply trust and believe Him with all your heart, take a deep breath and jump in...ALL IN!!!! 

 

 

 

Posted on February 23, 2017 .

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! As we begin the new year with great expectation, I was reminded of this story and had to share.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee . . .

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the
entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full." "The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house and your car and so on." "The sand is everything else - the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. Take time to get medical checkups. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the vacuum cleaner. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities... Life is not a dress rehearsal... The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked." "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend." \

RELATIONSHIP MATTER! MAKE THEM COUNT!!

{Guest Blog} WHAT NOW, GOD?

There is the new app that l love.  Marco Polo.  It’s like snap chat for grown-ups.  I get to video message my friends and family without being a deer or a butterfly or a bumblebee.  And the messages don’t disappear in 24 hours. They are all saved in “the cloud” so I can go back and view them anytime.  

I’ll be honest, what I love MOST are the filters.  My favorite is pop art!  My eyes look AMAZING in pop art!  I often wish that the entire world saw me through that filter just for my eyes!

I was reminded today through a blog (Proverbs 31 Ministry) that I read that we often view our lives through the filter of our circumstances.   And… I realized that I need to change my filter.  

Truth – I am 42 and single and as I mentioned last week am chunkier than ever!  The life that I am living is not one I imagined for myself and as the holidays approach I can’t help but think  about what I thought this season in my life would look like.  

I pictured myself hanging little stockings by the chimney with care and snuggling with my babies in front of a roaring fire.  (Okay – I live in Phoenix… make that a fire place app on the Smart TV or please open the screen door… but you get the picture).    We would watch Frosty and Rudolph and OF COURSE Charlie Brown!  

Life is not even close to what I imagined.  And it’s really easy to get discouraged when you are rolling into what feels like holiday season number 692 STILL single.   It leads to questions… like “Why, God Why!?!?” and “When, God when!?!?”

But I was reminded today that it’s okay to ask God questions… we just have to make sure it’s the RIGHT question.  The question is not “why,” but “what.”

“This is my current reality, so what now?”  THAT question… is a total punch in the face.  It’s so easy to roll into a pity party with the Whys and Whens… But when I ask “What now?”  I have to make a choice.  An active choice.  I’m either going to choose to have a pity party and be sad.  Or I’m going to choose to figure out WHAT I should be doing in what feels like the never-ending season of Singleness.  

When I think about it, I can’t imagine someone saying, “Okay, Sara, you are 42 and single.   What now?”  and me responding, “Well, I plan to be really depressed and eat myself into oblivion.  Can you pass that tray of cupcakes and the box of tissues.”  WHO would say that?!?!

By asking WHAT instead of WHY, I take responsibility for my life, for my choices and my actions.  My choices are now premeditated and planned.   By asking WHAT, I am changing the filter through which I not only view, but govern my life.  


Is there something in your life that you don’t understand, that doesn’t make sense?  Is there some hurt or betrayal or loss that you haven’t been able to move beyond? Try changing the filter by asking WHAT NOW, God? instead of “Why, me?”

In case you are wondering, what my “What now” looks like this holiday season… it includes Christmas shopping for my favorite kids (my nieces and nephews),  snuggling on the couch with my Mommy on Christmas Eve, while watching our favorite Christmas movie and savoring every minute of the holiday season from start to finish.  

 

Sara Munyan is a cupcake connoisseur and strictly runs on coffee. She loves the sun, sand, and surf and shares her gift of teaching with 120 fourth graders in Arizona. With her infectious laugh, Sara's humor and real-world view of singlehood will have you grabbing your side and wiping your tears as you experience her wonderful charm.

{GUEST BLOG} A Single Girl’s Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season

single girl holiday.jpg

I love the Christmas season and ALL that it entails… The scarves, the mittens and hats… the sparkly dresses… the cookies… the cakes… the extra weight that I gain.

Wait! Strike that last one.  I do not, I repeat DO NOT love the weight gain.  And this year…feels harder than ever.  I’ve gained roughly 20 pounds in the last 18 months.  My 90-year-old aunt delights in telling me that I have never looked fatter – which she oddly thinks is a compliment.  Trying to figure out what to wear that feels fun and festive AND looks good leaves me wanting to curl up on the couch in my PJs. 

It’s hard enough being 40 something and single…add chunky to the mix and you might as well add a few cats too.  I was feeling a little down and Alanis Morrisette-y when I randomly remembered the Message.  The Message of the Man Boobs. 

Man Boobs (as I’m sure you are aware) are a very odd place to garner wisdom and confidence… but wisdom and confidence are what I found. 

Several years ago, I was sitting in my office gazing out the window when a man caught my eye.  I can't remember what I noticed first:  his thick legs, slightly chunky hiney or... his man boobs.  He wasn't large and in charge but he was definitely ... thick!    I see men of all shapes and sizes on a daily basis.  Very few cause me to take a double look... but this guy... had my attention because even with the butt and the boobs... he had swag! 

 I sat and watched him walk down the street with complete confidence and found myself drawn to him because of it!   His confidence overrode all of the “flaws” that I noticed at first.  The truth is that I only saw them for a second.  His confidence was attractive... alluring even.  Truth be told, I even thought about giving his little man boob a squeeze.

For years I have read the articles about confidence being one of the most attractive qualities an individual can possess but it wasn't until I saw the man boobs with swag that I understood it! 

Confidence is the magic ingredient that makes the ordinary... extraordinary! So this holiday season, if you wear nothing else, wear your confidence and wear it well and if your 90-year-old aunt tells you that you’ve never been fatter, smile and say “Thank you!”

Sara Munyan is a cupcake connoisseur and strictly runs on coffee. She loves the sun, sand, and surf and shares her gift of teaching with 120 fourth graders in Arizona. With her infectious laugh, Sara's humor and real-world view of singlehood will have you grabbing your side and wiping your tears as you experience her wonderful charm.

WON'T HE DO IT!

The past few weeks, I have heard and witnessed many significant "WON'T HE DO IT!" moments! Let me explain, a "won't HE do it" moment is when God shows up in your life unexpectedly without warning or notice; but with a whole lot of POWER, LOVE and CERTAINTY . . . gently reminding YOU that HE is in total control!

We may think we are controlling our life, and in some ways, yes, we have free will to choose, however, those who are willing to trust God with their life, their fears, their worries, their situations and circumstances, God has something for ya!

A few weeks ago, one of my Godsisters shared a "won't He do it" moment where God provided all of the training she needed to be certified . . . FOR FREE! Another Godsister shared how God brought back together two people who were once engaged, broke it off, married other people, got divorced and a few weeks ago after years of not communicating, got married!

"WON'T HE DO IT!"

This week after feeling like I was in a spiritual and mental fog, I kept forgetting things, losing my train of thought and feeling like a deer in headlights! All I could do was REST. Nothing extra, nothing more, all I did was just, "BE!"

Yesterday, I saw a few random letters on my dresser face down, one was junk mail and one from Blue Cross Blue Shield.  I thought, "that's weird, I haven't been with Blue Cross, Blue Shield in years." So, I opened the junk mail first and then opened the Blue Cross letter. There was a $1200 insurance refund check in it issued 3 months ago! "WON'T HE DO IT!"

I shook my head, praised God and thanked Him for always coming right on time!

God is in complete control of your life! He is just waiting for you to trust him completely and get out of His way, so HE CAN DO IT!

Please share YOUR "Won't He Do It!" moment below in the comments!

 

IT'S GAME TIME!

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not to your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will make your paths straight.
— Proverbs 3:5

This election may surprise everybody else . . . but not God! I believe Tuesday's election is a total set up from God for the body of Christ.  God has been working in and through His sons and daughters for centuries. He desires us to trust Him above all else, by gently moving us out of our own way, so that we can truly start learning how to rest and receive - letting God be God. For so many of us, we believe the old saying,"it takes a lot of hard work to be successful, or the harder we work, the more successful we are." Actually, I think we may have gotten it backwards.

God doesn't need our help to carry out the visions, desires and dreams He has placed on the inside of us. He doesn't need us to take the initiative, overachieve or forcefully make our dreams come true. We have been spinning our wheels, scratching our heads and wondering, how did I get here? Why? Because we want to know the plan, and we want God's Promises to fit into our schedule, routine, and daily to-do list!

Tuesday was just a small reminder of how uncomfortable it is for us as a nation to be blindsided, unprepared and totally caught off guard, even after experts ran the numbers, entered the data and predicted the outcome. Guess what? We are not in control . . . God is!

The last few years has taken us out of our comfort zone and forced us to look at ourselves honestly, truthfully and with humility. We are nowhere near as mature as we think we are. We smile in people's faces and talk about them behind their backs, we judge people for their courage and boldness, as we continue to hide behind the mask of fear. And we ignore what is really going on, because we really don't 'feel' like taking ownership or responsibility to bring change, because we have too much on our own plates and it's so much easier to just complain.

We are the body of Christ and we are not ONE! We don't know who we are in Christ because we don't know who God is. Being a Christian isn't a fashion trend, it is an inheritance. God has given us an assignment and He has given us chance after chance to see Him in the details of our lives. . . and we have totally missed it! We ignored the clues and avoided 'the call' for as long as we could.

We pushed the envelope and now the time has come. It's GAME TIME and it's time to suit up!

We can't "fake it" anymore. We have no more time outs! It's time to accept your inheritance, rise into your calling and take responsibility for what you have been assigned to do! No more procrastinating and no more making excuses! This is the season that God has appointed you to walk in your purpose!

The nation needs you!

It's time to come together, respect one another and be the change you want to see in the world. The nation is depending on you to show them what faith is, demonstrate what love feels like, show them how to forgive and be the leader you know how to be!

Ready? . . . BREAK!

 

 

 

GOD IS ON A MISSION! #OPERATIONONENESS

BW AandC-145.jpg

GOD IS SAVING MARRIAGES! 

He is on a mission! #operationoneness

I know things have been tough and you may have even contemplated throwing in the towel, but I wanted to encourage you to . . . HOLD THE LINE!

DO NOT RETREAT!

God is coming and HE IS THE CALVARY!

Marriage is God's idea. He created it so that we could experience love, intimacy, friendship, unity, and life's deepest joys. Which is why it is also fiercely opposed by the enemy. Satan's primary goal is to steal, kill, and destroy every aspect of your life--especially your marriage. 

But our Lord is a mighty warrior! There is a war between the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Darkness. This battle rages most ferociously in marriage because you, your spouse and your family have a specific purpose to advance God's Kingdom and bring Him glory!

So in order to engage in this battle, you need to be equipped! Some of you have laid down your swords and stopped fighting. Some have fallen on the battlefield wounded and hurt and some keep trying to stay in the fight, but are so weary, your efforts are faint and faithless.

Don't despair, things are about to turn around!

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
— Hebrews 11:1

When we are discouraged, disappointed or in despair, it's usually because our faith is faint! Be encouraged! As a daughter or son of the Most High God, you have access to exactly what you need to experience the marriage relationship you desire . . . and the one God has prepared for you! How? By activating your FAITH . . . RELENTLESS FAITH!
 

FAITH

. . . is the confidence

you must believe without a shadow of doubt

. . . that what we hope for

that whatever you desire in your marriage, your spouse or your situation

. . . will actually happen

that God CAN restore, increase, rescue, save, and heal . . .

. . . it gives us assurance about

by operating in the integrity of what you believe

. . . things we cannot see

completely surrender to and trust God fully! Faith is an action! Faith never quits!

Search your heart this week. What do you REALLY believe about God? about His Word? about your spouse? about your marriage? Does what you think, say and do align with what you believe in your heart? If not, decide to change it! Align with God's Word. Start activating your faith for what you REALLY believe and watch God move in your marriage BIG TIME!!

WATCH OUT! GOD'S ON A MISSION! It's called #OPERATIONONENESS

YOU AREN'T FAT, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

I grew up in beautiful, sunny Santa Barbara, California, one mile away from the beach, within walking distance to the Santa Barbara Mission. I could not have asked for a more beautiful place to live. I was popular, I had amazing friends and loved my school. There was only one thing wrong. I didn't love MYSELF! I grew up as the "token" Black girl rocking size 8 jeans among my beautiful blonde and brunette friends who made every effort to let me know that they wore a size 0. 

I always felt like the "big girl" of the group and my self-esteem began to spiral before it even had a chance to start! Dieting was the topic of all of our conversations. Before I knew it, I started to believe that I was fat and ugly. I was barely 14 when I had asked my best friend how she stayed so skinny. She took me into her bathroom and showed me how to make myself throw up! She said that she eats whatever she wants and throws it up afterwards, so that the calories don't stay in her body!

I believed her. For the next year, I tried my hardest to be like my friends . . . skinny. I tried her system of binging and purging, because I wanted so desperately to be a size 0. The harder I tried, the more I felt like a failure. 

I remember getting on the scale and being so excited because I was at an all time low . . . 121 pounds! I thought I looked great! I was jolted quickly back into reality when a someone told me that I would "really" look great, if I lost 10 more pounds! 

Devastation took over and I was no longer the same. I struggled for many years after that moment by comparing myself to other women and longing to look like someone I could never be. 

It wasn't until I turned 30 that I intentionally started the journey of loving myself. Only 4% of women worldwide think they are beautiful according to a study conducted by Dove. Too many women are less than happy with their appearance and spend countless hours comparing themselves to someone they are not supposed to be. 

Seventy-five percent of women look in the mirror and do not like what they see. We are bombarded with images of beautiful women in magazines, on television and in the movies, but we never think about the team of people it took to get them looking that way. 

So today, I want to challenge you to CHOOSE to love yourself from head to toe, regardless of how you feel in your skin right now, and despite the 20 pounds that you have been trying to loose . . . forever. Be intentional! Stop comparing yourself to others. It's time to discover your beauty . . . deep within. Embrace your unique shape, color and size. There is no one in the world that is made like you! You are one of a kind! God spared no expense at creating you just as you are! Celebrate today! You are wonderfully and marvelously made!

Posted on October 21, 2016 .